Dolls, muppets, clowns
Some Warnie, some Murali, some Brett Lee, and just a touch of nudity
Jenny Thompson
19-Nov-2007
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More beans please, Warnie
Shane Warne not only has his own trophy, shared with Muttiah Muralitharan, but now he's facing an even greater honour. He's set to be immortalised in plastic as the latest VB doll to replace Boonie, chirping such erudite phrases as "More beans, please". He's also in his own TV ad, but the least said about that, the better.
Shane Warne not only has his own trophy, shared with Muttiah Muralitharan, but now he's facing an even greater honour. He's set to be immortalised in plastic as the latest VB doll to replace Boonie, chirping such erudite phrases as "More beans, please". He's also in his own TV ad, but the least said about that, the better.
He's a miserable man... oh no, he's not
"He's a miserable man," said Muralitharan, upon hearing Warne had called for his action to be tested in a Test match. But wait, the media had twisted Warne's words -not again, surely - because, as Warne went on to clarify at a later press conference with Muralitharan, "All I said was that common sense should prevail." Murali agreed. Cue a swift retraction. "It's a bit of miscommunication. I thought he said something, and I opened my mouth."
"He's a miserable man," said Muralitharan, upon hearing Warne had called for his action to be tested in a Test match. But wait, the media had twisted Warne's words -not again, surely - because, as Warne went on to clarify at a later press conference with Muralitharan, "All I said was that common sense should prevail." Murali agreed. Cue a swift retraction. "It's a bit of miscommunication. I thought he said something, and I opened my mouth."
Muppets
But there was no misunderstanding Marvan Atapattu's words when, in a calculated media conference, he announced to the world, "The selectors are muppets headed by a joker." Papers talked of how Kermitted his team were to him, while Mark Waugh said the selectors weren't just muppets but "clowns as well" for dropping Lasith Malinga for the first Test.
But there was no misunderstanding Marvan Atapattu's words when, in a calculated media conference, he announced to the world, "The selectors are muppets headed by a joker." Papers talked of how Kermitted his team were to him, while Mark Waugh said the selectors weren't just muppets but "clowns as well" for dropping Lasith Malinga for the first Test.
A literal blackout
But some readers could have missed the muppet-bashing following Cricket Australia's handbags with three big press agencies, which led to a blackout. When one Sri Lankan paper was left without pictures, so infuriated was the editor that he ran a silhouette instead, proclaiming: "This space is dedicated to a would-have-been action picture of the Test match in progress in Brisbane. The black figure is courtesy of Cricket Australia."
But some readers could have missed the muppet-bashing following Cricket Australia's handbags with three big press agencies, which led to a blackout. When one Sri Lankan paper was left without pictures, so infuriated was the editor that he ran a silhouette instead, proclaiming: "This space is dedicated to a would-have-been action picture of the Test match in progress in Brisbane. The black figure is courtesy of Cricket Australia."
A brush with the law... or not
In Uppal, India, a burglar escaped police custody as the cops were so engrossed in the third one-dayer between India and Pakistan that they didn't notice his departure. A senior police official said the thief somehow managed to remove his handcuffs and escape - unlike Pakistan, who lost that match and the series.
In Uppal, India, a burglar escaped police custody as the cops were so engrossed in the third one-dayer between India and Pakistan that they didn't notice his departure. A senior police official said the thief somehow managed to remove his handcuffs and escape - unlike Pakistan, who lost that match and the series.
England cooking already
Overheard: three of England's players not dealing with the conditions very well. "I'm sweating buckets," said an opening batsman from Essex who we shan't name. "It's too bloody hot in here," said a ginger batsman from Warwickshire. "I know, my top's sticking to my nipples," said a fellow redhead, also a Durham allrounder. Sadly, this was before they'd even left Heathrow for Sri Lanka; the trio were taking part in a cooking demonstration for a PR wheeze. If you can't stand the heat, get over to Sri Lanka. Ah.
Overheard: three of England's players not dealing with the conditions very well. "I'm sweating buckets," said an opening batsman from Essex who we shan't name. "It's too bloody hot in here," said a ginger batsman from Warwickshire. "I know, my top's sticking to my nipples," said a fellow redhead, also a Durham allrounder. Sadly, this was before they'd even left Heathrow for Sri Lanka; the trio were taking part in a cooking demonstration for a PR wheeze. If you can't stand the heat, get over to Sri Lanka. Ah.
What else is cooking?
Spare us. Brett Lee will produce and perform the theme song for the next World Cup, to be held on the subcontinent in 2011. The deal is set to make him one of Australia's highest-selling musicians, which perhaps says more about Australians' tastes than anything else - although he did reach No. 2 in India and South Africa last year with his hit, "You're The One For Me". Earplugs may be the ones for us, if previous cricketers' efforts are anything to go by.
Spare us. Brett Lee will produce and perform the theme song for the next World Cup, to be held on the subcontinent in 2011. The deal is set to make him one of Australia's highest-selling musicians, which perhaps says more about Australians' tastes than anything else - although he did reach No. 2 in India and South Africa last year with his hit, "You're The One For Me". Earplugs may be the ones for us, if previous cricketers' efforts are anything to go by.
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Hitting the highs
The audacious bid by a team of English cricketers to play the world's highest match, on the slopes of Mount Everest, ended in failure after the Guinness Book of Records failed to recognise the game because it was not an official match. The game, a six-a-side charity affair between a team of professional cricketers and a team of Sherpas (which, frankly, doesn't sound fair, the Sherpas having home advantage on a tricky pitch and all that), had 40 balls at its disposal, so no need for the old six-and-out rule of mountain cricket.
The audacious bid by a team of English cricketers to play the world's highest match, on the slopes of Mount Everest, ended in failure after the Guinness Book of Records failed to recognise the game because it was not an official match. The game, a six-a-side charity affair between a team of professional cricketers and a team of Sherpas (which, frankly, doesn't sound fair, the Sherpas having home advantage on a tricky pitch and all that), had 40 balls at its disposal, so no need for the old six-and-out rule of mountain cricket.
Speaking of charity
Freddie Flintoff has done his bit by standing alongside some naked ladies for a charity calendar. "The shoot was a lot of fun," he said, surprisingly. "The girls have literally worked their socks off..."
Freddie Flintoff has done his bit by standing alongside some naked ladies for a charity calendar. "The shoot was a lot of fun," he said, surprisingly. "The girls have literally worked their socks off..."
Cricinfo saves John Howard
On a more dignified note, hurrah for Cricinfo - or as some of our Aussie readers know us, baggygreen - which came to the rescue of Australia's prime minister, John Howard, this week. When a journalist quizzed him about what sites he visited, hoping to trip him up, Howard immediately responded: "Baggygreen, I get to the baggygreen website quite a bit." Hello, Mr Howard.
On a more dignified note, hurrah for Cricinfo - or as some of our Aussie readers know us, baggygreen - which came to the rescue of Australia's prime minister, John Howard, this week. When a journalist quizzed him about what sites he visited, hoping to trip him up, Howard immediately responded: "Baggygreen, I get to the baggygreen website quite a bit." Hello, Mr Howard.
Quotehanger
"Gaylord's"
The Sun's headline following the MCC's announcement that it intends to experiment with pink cricket balls next season. But the balls are coming to cricket sooner than April, with trials in women's state cricket in Australia in January.
"Gaylord's"
The Sun's headline following the MCC's announcement that it intends to experiment with pink cricket balls next season. But the balls are coming to cricket sooner than April, with trials in women's state cricket in Australia in January.
Jenny Thompson is an assistant editor at Cricinfo