Guns, grapes and gripes

What sour grapes?
India's exit from the World Cup has so disgusted some of the country's villages - 28 of them to be exact - that they've banned cricket. One minute the nation's obsessed, the next the council of the Jind district says the game was "no different from alcoholism or the DJs who dish out noisy and senseless Bollywood songs and western music." Playing is now banned, as is watching on television - and the offence of cricket enjoyment is so bad that "any villager who opposes the ban will be ostracised." And we thought it was only a game.

Pot ... meet the kettle
Jack Warner, who runs CONCACAF, is one of the most colourful men in world football... Colourful as in not exactly beloved by all, with many believing that his interest in the game stems more from what he can get out of it. Last month he was slammed by FIFA, the game's governing body after an investigation into dodgy ticketing at the 2006 World Cup. So it seems a bit rich that the self-important Warner launched a stinging attack on cricket's World Cup, calling it "the biggest con job ever passed off in this region". He continued that the organisers had taken "limited resources of their people's money and put it in a dying sport. If there is anything that this World Cup has done well is it has shown people what not to do in the future. Imagine in Antigua for a public holiday a brand new stadium is half-filled. This has been a World Cup for the organisers, the visitors and the players but certainly not for the people. That's why the stadiums are empty and that in itself is a con job." The sad thing is, while Warner might not exactly be a role model, he appears to have hit a raw nerve.

Uzi, oops
Ireland's players are getting noticed, but Eoin Morgan made the headlines for the wrong reason after inadvertently caused an international incident when innocently posing with a security guard's gun outside the team's hotel. The guard in question was sacked on the spot - but got his job back after a delegation from the Irish management appealed to the local police commissioner. "I have learned a lesson and you will not see me with any more M16s this tournament," said Morgan. "Instead it will be dvds and, er, more dvds."

Desperately seeking Percy
During the week Andrew Miller in Antigua asked if anyone had seen Percy Sonn, the ICC president. "The only thing lower than the attendances at this World Cup has been his profile ... where is he?" asked Miller. A good question. In 2003, Sonn made his mark on the competition when he infamously had a few too many sherbets and made what might politely be called a spectacle of himself. Many looked forward to what he had in store as an encore in the Caribbean. It appears, however, that the president was around for the first few matches - although he seems to have been wearing a Harry Potteresque cloak of invisibility - before returning to Cape Town. He is, we are assured, planning to return for the final stages. Given that this is the four-yearly crown jewel in the ICC's crown, it raises more than a few eyebrows that the world governing body's president is missing a large chunk of the tournament. Perhaps, like some rather embarrassing distant relation, it was thought best to keep him locked in the attic? Or maybe it just shows how bloated the whole event is in the first place.

Passing the buck
Malcolm Speed seems to have been taking lessons in passing the buck. Despite the endless media releases instructing people that this is the ICC World Cup 2007, the ICC's CEO is insisting that the blame for high ticket prices, ridiculous admin and overzealous stewarding is really nothing to do with him. Speaking to a hand-picked group of the reporters on Sunday, Speed was at pains to try to give the impression that all the bad decisions came from the local organisers while all attempts to remedy came from the ICC. It's a good indication of how the post-tournament post mortems will go. It remains whether the public are ready to buy the excuses from a body that hardly attracts goodwill by its handling of the game.

You have been Warned
Melbourne comedian and composer Eddie Perfect has announced that his latest show - Shane Warne - The Musical - will launch in May in Adelaide. The show is described as "a warts-and-all account of Warne's life set against a musical score inspired by jazz, funk, soul and gospel." Perfect's most recent show, which toured Australia, London and Edinburgh last year, was called Drink Pepsi, Bitch! ... which at least has the cricket-related attraction of having the name of one of the ICC's official World Cup sponsors in its title. Warne himself wasn't that impressed with the idea of his best texts being set to song: "It depends on what sort of spin he wants to put on it, doesn't it?" he told Cricinfo. "He can be factual, he can not be factual. He can exaggerate it. I don't know, I haven't thought it through whether I like it or don't like it." But he did have fun when asked who should play him. "Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe," he mused at first. But then - got 'im! "Richie Benaud!" he shouted. "Richie Benaud to play me in a musical!"

Bangladesh take up effigy burning
Proof, were it needed, that Bangladesh had arrived at cricket's top table came with news that students at Dhaka University burnt an effigy of Habibul Bashar, the national captain, following the defeats by New Zealand and Australia.

Too little, too late
Empty stadia are becoming somewhat thematic this tournament - and finally the officials are beginning to address this matter. After local fans were priced out of the market, the Local Organizing Committee announced free tickets for Antiguan and Barbudan residents for the England and Sri Lanka thriller. At last it seemed that a sensible decision was being made - were it not for the fact that the announcement was made halfway through the actual match.

Hollioake pads up for charity
Running 22 yards in the full gear is strenuous enough for some of us... but 26 miles? Adam Hollioake is to run - or shuffle - this year's London Marathon decked out in the full garb to raise funds for the CHASE Ben Hollioake Fund, the charity set up in memory of his brother. "It will be really interesting trying to run 26.2 miles in cricket gear," he said with some understatement, "but I'll definitely give it a go."

Sing when you're losing?
You might be forgiven for thinking that the coach of a Full Member country who are knocked out of the World Cup at the first hurdle having failed to beat an Associate, might be worried about his job. But not, it seems, Zimbabwe's Kevin Curran. Despite a sequence of 19 ODIs in which his team has won only once, Curran is relaxed. "I always read in the international press where they say I am under pressure," he explained. "but my contract doesn't say that I have to win matches, it says as long as I am competitive, then my employers are happy." How some other coaches must wish expectations were so low. Oh, and Zimbabwe's performance-exceeding tie came against Ireland. Ireland's income from the ICC last year was around US$200,000 ... Zimbabwe's was around US$9 million.

Quotehanger
"We had to rely on the advice of the local organising committee to establish the prices of the tickets. It is, in retrospect, a little too rich for the local palate." Malcolm Speed washes the ICC's hands of responsibility for empty stands throughout the World Cup