'Ajmal calls me the running offspinner'

Your first ODI wicket was Sachin Tendulkar. Your first Test wicket was Brian Lara. You took your time adapting to international cricket, didn't you?
It went well, didn't it? I scored a century in my first Test innings too. Maybe I should have retired after that!

How do you assess your New Zealand career?
Steady, nothing more than that. I felt I should have scored more hundreds, but you can only do your best at the time and whatever happens happens.

Do you ever look back and think how much more Test cricket you could have played?
No, not necessarily. I lament the fact that I started my first-class career as a bowler who bats a little bit. Through age-group cricket, I was a batsman that bowls. I probably lost four years of development on my batting. That put me back a bit.

What is the best innings you have ever played?
The 170 against South Africa in 2004, solely because it helped - along with Chris Martin's 11 wickets - get us a Test win against a major cricketing nation. To do that is always special.

You are on to your 17th first-class team. Do you ever forget your team-mates' names?
No I haven't! I prefer to look at it the other way and see it as a chance to play with and against a lot of guys that I didn't think I'd get the chance to. You find out how other guys prepare and work.

What is the worst thing about being a modern-day globetrotting cricketer?
When I retired from international cricket I thought the travelling around would be reduced. Then when the T20 leagues came in, I ended up away more than the international players were.

Of all the team-mates in all the teams you have played for, who has the best dressing-room banter?
Chris Nash at Sussex. It hurts me to say it but he's quite clever with his jibes. Can I throw in a worst?

Go ahead.
Tim Southee. He's just relentless.

Who is the angriest after getting out?
Martin Guptill.

And who is the best fun on a night out?
Tim Southee is the best fun. I think there's an element of jealousy from his team-mates with that one.

Which team in that time had the worst kit?
Leicestershire - right now!

John Bracewell once advised you to work on your offspin. What ever happened with that?
Well, Saeed Ajmal calls me the running offspinner, so I'm not sure it's ever gone away! I think the run-up is just longer than most others.

Be honest. How many times have you YouTubed the over where you - and a couple of extras - contributed to James Fuller going for 38?
I have done it twice. But I've played him a few times and he's had my number since.

Wikipedia reckons that on April 12, 2007 you scored the slowest century in ODI history. You didn't - that was David Boon - but do you know how many balls it came off?
Wasn't that a World Cup year? (Pauses) I can't think. Who was it against?

Sri Lanka. And it came off 152 balls.
152 balls? Really? Embarrassing, that's embarrassing! Too slow.

You turn 40 next year. How many years have you got left in you?
I haven't thought about that. I enjoy the playing side of the game. It's the warm-ups, the travel and the being away that's hardest.

How many grips are on your bat?
One.

What is your favourite shot?
The slog. Come on, it's what they say all T20 players do, don't they?

What is your biggest fear?
I have no fears.

If you were a woman for a day, what would you do?
I'd nag and nag and nag and see how they liked it.